Sunday, 18 June 2017

To Be Well-Developed INTJ? (Quora Answer)

I am an INTJ according to MBTI test. I took several tests on internet and always get this INTJ as result. After that I became obsessed with this MBTI thing.

When I read those traits and characteristics of other types, I can’t relate on. But when I read this INTJ, it was like “Oh my gosh, this is so f*cking me.”

I became obsessed to any article that come across at quora or any online forum talked about my personality. It’s sometimes creepy that your personality can be learned by others and vice versa.

This question about how to be a well-developed INTJ caught my attention recently. Why? Because well, who doesn’t want to be a better person? Who doesn’t want to know themselves better?

One answer that I really am thinking about is this, came from user named Rosalinda Lam. She wrote:
I’m not a well-developed INTJ but I strive to be and I’m working on it. This are some of my goals to get there:
1.      Realize that the way I think and process information is similar to only 2% of the population. So I need to be open to very different points of view because that is the majority and not dismiss them as wrong automatically.
2.      Find a way to show my emotions and make myself vulnerable. I’m taking baby steps on this. I try to be more affectionate with the ones I love and tell them how I feel about them. I’m also trying to ask and accept help when I need it. Usually I would rather not to “owe” anything to anybody but I need to understand that the majority of people don’t look at favors as currency like I do.
3.      Keep my opinions to myself when they are going to hurt friends. Recently one of my good friends was concerned because her cat had been missing for a couple of days. I had seen a fox by her house so I thought nothing of telling her that the fox had probably killed her cat so stop looking for it. She started crying and left the room and all my other friends looked at me like I was a monster. I learned my lesson. Logic does not apply to all people and that is OK.
4.      Understand that not everybody has a hidden agenda and stop looking for it. As an INTJ everything I do has a reason and a motive. So I look for the same in other people actions. I need to stop.
5.      Realize that my actions and opinions affect others. Because I usually don’t care what others think about me, I assume the same for everybody only to find out that I have hurt somebody or make somebody really angry for something I did or said because they actually care about what I think of them. Which I don’t understand at all but I need to accept it and be conscious of it.
6.      Respect authority as much as I can. Which is really hard for an INTJ specially when said authority is incompetent. But knowing that I have a problem with authority and hierarchy is the first step

Those answers though, not just could answer the person who asked but also affecting my own being.
It’s so ME that when I was reading, I kept grinning and thinking how on earth that this woman can know me. I feel the same in this normal world. I feel like an outsider. Those answers are relatable to me from no. 1 to end.

Particularly no. 2 and no.4 happens all the time. I am not that kind of person who will show my expression freely (like it has a cost) to people around me. I’d rather be quiet and talking inside my head than to spill out any words or emotions. I also feel rather guilty to asking help from other people ‘cause that means I am depending on them (which is true sometimes). But now I keep trying to be more vulnerable and if something happens that need to be helped by other human beings, then I would ask for help.

A lot of times I would think that someone must have a structured plan for their day. So, I would be asking them something like “so, what’s your plan at weekend?” “What’s your plan after this?”
“Are your schedule pretty busy today?” “Do you keep a planner?”

When at that moment I found that the person I’m talking with isn’t as I expected, then I’d be immediately disconnect with them. That’s the time when I don’t speak at all.

So, that’s what I am trying to improve as an INTJ. I don’t know if I could be in that ‘standart’ whatsoever, but these ideas really worth to try. We need to know that our personality isn’t the same with anyone else, even on the same MBTI types. We uniquely are special from each other. What we know now might be wrong in the future so, it’s like water.. flowing.. keep changing all the time.


No comments:

Post a Comment