20 Things I Learned By 20

So, as you can tell, I’m going to be ranting about things I’ve learned these past 20 years of my life.

Being a 20 year old man is something that until today still sounds so weird to me. I always talk to myself when I’m bathing. One day I said out loud while I was in bathroom “hey I’m Bima, I am 20 years old boy..” and I stopped to think about the sentences that I just said then I laughed. Why did I laugh?, because boy, it sounds so weird. I mean, twenty years old? Wow. I never feel like a 20 year old man, but rather a 15 year old. But 15 is like five years ago (haahh).

But at the same time, I am so freaking grateful for what I have been through to this period of life. Twenty years old I’ve been living and breathing in this planet, stumbling here and there, finding something new here and there, questioning everything then suddenly I am here.

Okay, I actually planned to make this post a year ago and it should have published or even made in October 19^th this year, on the day I turned 20, but you know, life happens boy. So, it’s a belated post about 20 things I learned by 20, after a month I turned 20 (that’s fine boo).

I was inspired by Conan Gray and several bloggers out there to make this post, because I just want to record what my 20 year old self thought about this life, so I can look back, you knoww.

Without further a due, here are the things I learned so far. But honestly, these are the highlight that I think very important and life changing, besides there are lots of other things I’ve learned during my 20 years of living, but I can’t put all those in here, so.

1.    I am just a kid needs to learn more

I am aware that, the more I know, the less I know. That means I still and will always need to learn more about the universe and how things work. Learning is a lifetime process, for me it has no ending. I am constantly striving for new knowledge and evolving as a person every damn day. So, yeah, I am a kid who needs to learn more.

2.    People’s opinion about you don’t matter

When I was younger I  used to follow people’s opinion. I thought that they knew me better than me. I constantly was under their shadows. My self-value was placed upon people’s hands. I don’t know about you guys, but I am telling you, WHAT PEOPLE THINK AND SAY ABOUT YOU, DON’T MATTER AT ALL. Your job is to make sure that you are doing whatever that makes you happy, and if it’s not making someone’s happy, screw it boy! Ain’t your business to make them happy.

I’m also telling you that, there’s no meaning of seeking validation from other people.  You’re not entitled to people. This is your life, so you do you. If you like wearing that damn red collar shirt, then wear it.  If you like boys when you are also a boy (Me too), love it!  There’s nothing wrong with you.

Some people judge you because they just afraid to do the things that you do, so yeah. Some people exactly will not like either,  but at least you like you.

I’m still struggling with this every day,  when I walk down the street or campus with totally quirky fashion, I’d make up this negative comments from people around me and them starring me in my head. Which in fact, it is not true. You see, people actually don’t really care that much about you. They might notice you by your unique style on the street,  but then they’d think back about their own life and forget about you. So please, separate the fact and the story that you make in your head. Walk with your chin up and shoulders back boy, you name, you got it!

3.    It’s totally okay to be alone

It took me years to realize that it’s okay to be alone, we even need solitude for our own well being. You see, I used to afraid of not getting any friends when I was in school. I would hang out and talk with people who don’t serve me well, because I was afraid being left alone.

You have to enjoy your own company to be able to be alone. Being alone doesn’t mean you’re lonely. It means you’re being independent and take care of yourself well. it means knowing yourself and being your own best friend. It means knowing what you want and focus on your goals.

In fact, we don’t need somebody else to make us happy. It always comes back to  you. Happiness comes within you. You need solitude to reconnect with yourself. By being alone, you can treat yourself better whereas other people might as well treat you badly.

Now, I don’t bother to eat lunch alone, workout alone, or basically anything.

4.    Toxic people kill your positivity

Honestly, this is a life-changing lesson I’ve ever learned. Being around people who complain all the time about how his/her life doesn’t seem good, or about her parents who don’t get her. Or even worst, someone who talks constantly about other people; don’t help you.

You see, I am still struggling with this too, especially when that person is my ‘close friend’ and I just realized how toxic they are. It’s difficult to cut the rope and get rid off of those people, but boy,  I’m telling you that it’s worth it.

You basically kill your own self by being around them. You gotta stand for yourself. You deserve better boy.

5.    Your art belongs to you, nobody does it better than you

I was in a  point of not feeling good enough. I  felt like, somebody was doing better than me. This year I learned that art is something that only comes from someone’s ability. It only comes from individual. And how many times did  I doubt my own craft, were disappeared.

My art is made by me and only me. I do it for myself and not to please anybody. I’m creating my art better than anyone else in this entire world, because it is uniquely me.

So, if you find yourself comparing yourself with others, just stop it. You’re making no sense boy. Your art belongs to you.

6.    Eat food, not fellow earthlings

I’d never thought in a million times that I would ever be a vegan. But this year, I opened my eyes on the industry that is happening right now. I cannot tell you how sad I am to know what’s happening to our fellow friends (animals) before they were served into our plate and glass.

I don’t care what you eat guys, I am not trying to convince you to know the truth anyway, I just want to write down my thoughts. I don’t judge people by what they eat.

But for me, I think that we humans don’t have superiority towards other creatures. Animals are our friend, our fellow inhabitants of earth. They deserve better life and not slaughtered or even be killed. They can feel pain and happiness as we human do. So, why would I take those rights from them?

I feel much better now as a vegan, realizing that I am eating food and not responsible to ending somebody else’s life.

7.    If you’re questioning whether you are in a good relationship or not, it’s likely the sign that you are not

I’ve been in this moment so many  time boy. You see,I think my mind knows when someone is not worth my energy to  be shared. My mind knows the time  to let go. even the sign actually just comes up slightly. But I’m telling you again, if whatever relationship you are in now, then you like questioning the validity of it or whether it’s a positive relationship or not, it’s likely the sign that you gotta let it go boy.

8.    KonMari de-clutter method is life changing

I don’t need to explain about this method, you can search it on internet. But live simply makes me happy.

9.    If you are nervous to do something, that’s probably  the sign that you have to do it

Oh boy, this is so true.  Do you ever feel so freaking nervous to ask someone else? or to send that email? Well, that a very sign of adrenaline rushing through your body. It simply means you have to do it. Gotta leave your comfy zone

10. Numbers don’t define who you are

Whether it is GPA,  your height, your weight, or even your followers. They’re not defined who you  are. I know that I’m more than just a numbers.

11. It’s okay to be  sad, embrace it

I’m telling you boy, if you feel like crying at night after a very long hectic day, just cry. You’ll find that it’s the best  medicine ever.

I also learned that depression is not  part of  me.  Depression and bad thoughts are like clouds, they just come around sometime, maybe here and there,  maybe block the sunshine. But  they eventually will pass away.

12. Self-love is priority

Took me a long time to realized this. When I planned my day, I didn’t try to make the things I really love  to do as a priority.  I often neglected those things. It was the number one cause of ‘bad day’ actually.

The most important thing is your well being, the rest will follow.

So, take your time every single day to plan your most favorite things to actually do it. Mine are take a long bath, drawing, listening to music, singing, eat fruits, working out. I promise you that when you set yourself as a priority, you’ll make the best out of your day.

13. You don’t need degree to be happy,  or any other materialize things

I wish I had known this long time ago. But yeah, experience is way more important than let’s say money, degree, expensive clothes, you name it.

14. Fashion is about trial and error, until you get it right

So, okay, I am describing myself as a curious person. It also applies to my fashion style.

You see, I’ve learned through my experience as a teenager that fashion is another form of art. You can create your own style  boy. And you don’t need those expensive shirts whatsoever, you only need bravery.

This year I am the only guy in my campus, who goes to class with a shirt tucked into my skinny jeans. I was the first considered ‘good boy’ to wear earring and a ripped jeans to campus. I am telling you, it was scary as fuck. But, that’s the art of fashion. You kinda just try and try and fail several or hundreds time,  and then eventually you’ll get hang of it.

If you ask me how do I describe my style? I don’t know boy, I  have no idea. I just wear whatever I want and feel comfortable. I don’t want to settle down for ‘my style’, you know what I mean?

15. Like attracts like

I think this goes with anything. I am a strong believer of law of attraction. Sometimes it happens unplanned. Two people would bump into each other and they both know that they’re the same like minded person. So, treat yourself so good and I promise the right person will come for you. For me, it hasn’t happened yet, I think it takes time.

But yeah.

16. It’s perfectly fine to be vulnerable

Embarrassing yourself in crowd doesn’t matter, make mistakes doesn’t matter, crying because you’re overwhelmed doesn’t matter, and sometimes opening up yourself to somebody is the right thing to do, telling your feeling to someone is risky but hey you only  live once. Be vulnerable guys, embrace it. You’ll learn the hard way, and you’ll be a cool person boy, you’ll be that freaking attractive prince.

17. Planning out your day is important

I could not tell how important to plan your day ahead. This is a life-changing lesson too.

18. Journaling is life changing

I’ve been journaling for almost two years now. It’s absolutely changed everything. I just began using bullet journal too this year.

19.  You have no idea what’s someone else has been through

Please don’t be a judgmental jerk. We have so freaking different path in our life. Every person has their own story you’d never expect and cannot be judged by the mere shallow idea. Judge people ain’t our business.

This goes with social media too, I mean, don’t compare your lifewith theirs just  ebcause their isntagram  feeds look aesthetic than yours. Social media is half lie, it’s just what people want you to see, not the entire  story.

20. Practice is way more important than talent

Ahaa, this is the truth: I was not a talented person in drawing. But these past  two years I had investing my time to learn and practice how to draw. And now, I am enjoying it, I am not reached the point where I can say: this is  should be placed in art gallery, yet but I often recently find myself  saying: “did I make this? Oh my hella god, I cannot believe it”.

Same goes when I didn’t know how to playing guitar. Last year I learned and practice a lot at home to play this instrument and voila! At  least I can play guitar and song several favorites.

That saying practice makes perfect really true. Just practice, practice and practice.

21. Own who you are, nobody’s can define who you are but you

Okay, I need to add this one. After all, you have to live your life in your own terms. You need to own who you are, nobody can do that for you guys. Be unapologetically you!  This is your damn beautiful precious life, make something J

Is it too long?

While I was writing this, I was sweating a lot. It feels like, I am the expert and a TED Talk speaker but I am not hahaha.

Okay see you on next post, Thanks J

BS