I am an INTJ according to MBTI test. I took several
tests on internet and always get this INTJ as result. After that I became
obsessed with this MBTI thing.
When I read those traits and characteristics of
other types, I can’t relate on. But when I read this INTJ, it was like “Oh my
gosh, this is so f*cking me.”
I became obsessed to any article that come across at
quora or any online forum talked about my personality. It’s sometimes creepy
that your personality can be learned by others and vice versa.
This question about how to be a well-developed INTJ
caught my attention recently. Why? Because well, who doesn’t want to be a
better person? Who doesn’t want to know themselves better?
One answer that I really am thinking about is this,
came from user named Rosalinda Lam. She wrote:
I’m not a well-developed INTJ but I strive to
be and I’m working on it. This are some of my goals to get there:
1. Realize that the way I
think and process information is similar to only 2% of the population. So I
need to be open to very different points of view because that is the majority
and not dismiss them as wrong automatically.
2. Find a way to show my
emotions and make myself vulnerable. I’m taking baby steps on this. I try to be
more affectionate with the ones I love and tell them how I feel about them. I’m
also trying to ask and accept help when I need it. Usually I would rather not
to “owe” anything to anybody but I need to understand that the majority of
people don’t look at favors as currency like I do.
3. Keep my opinions to
myself when they are going to hurt friends. Recently one of my good friends was
concerned because her cat had been missing for a couple of days. I had seen a
fox by her house so I thought nothing of telling her that the fox had probably
killed her cat so stop looking for it. She started crying and left the room and
all my other friends looked at me like I was a monster. I learned my lesson.
Logic does not apply to all people and that is OK.
4. Understand that not
everybody has a hidden agenda and stop looking for it. As an INTJ everything I
do has a reason and a motive. So I look for the same in other people actions. I
need to stop.
5. Realize that my
actions and opinions affect others. Because I usually don’t care what others
think about me, I assume the same for everybody only to find out that I have
hurt somebody or make somebody really angry for something I did or said because
they actually care about what I think of them. Which I don’t understand at all
but I need to accept it and be conscious of it.
6. Respect authority as
much as I can. Which is really hard for an INTJ specially when said authority
is incompetent. But knowing that I have a problem with authority and hierarchy
is the first step
Those answers though, not just could answer the
person who asked but also affecting my own being.
It’s so ME that when I was reading, I kept grinning
and thinking how on earth that this woman can know me. I feel the same in this
normal world. I feel like an outsider. Those answers are relatable to me from
no. 1 to end.
Particularly no. 2 and no.4 happens all the time. I
am not that kind of person who will show my expression freely (like it has a
cost) to people around me. I’d rather be quiet and talking inside my head than
to spill out any words or emotions. I also feel rather guilty to asking help
from other people ‘cause that means I am depending on them (which is true
sometimes). But now I keep trying to be more vulnerable and if something
happens that need to be helped by other human beings, then I would ask for
help.
A lot of times I would think that someone must have
a structured plan for their day. So, I would be asking them something like “so,
what’s your plan at weekend?” “What’s your plan after this?”
“Are your schedule pretty busy today?” “Do you keep
a planner?”
When at that moment I found that the person I’m
talking with isn’t as I expected, then I’d be immediately disconnect with them.
That’s the time when I don’t speak at all.
So, that’s what I am trying to improve as an INTJ. I
don’t know if I could be in that ‘standart’ whatsoever, but these ideas really
worth to try. We need to know that our personality isn’t the same with anyone
else, even on the same MBTI types. We uniquely are special from each other.
What we know now might be wrong in the future so, it’s like water.. flowing..
keep changing all the time.
BS
References: https://www.quora.com/How-is-a-well-developed-INTJ
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